


The Valentine's Day Proposition

by Starbird



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Romantic Comedy, Banter, Best Friends, Blow Jobs, Cassian is the King of Oral, Companionable Snark, Cunnilingus, Denial of Feelings, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Happily Ever After, Humor, Jyn Knows What She Wants Except When She Doesn't, Light Angst, Makeup Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Multiple Sex Positions, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sexual Tension, Smut, This Turned Angstier Than I Meant For It To SORRY, Valentine's Day, but it's okay in the end, fake date, fluffy sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-09 08:52:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13477965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbird/pseuds/Starbird
Summary: Lacking significant others on Valentine's Day, best friends Jyn and Cassian decide to go out together on their own "date" and get it on. Why not? They're not seeing anybody, and friends do friends favors. Besides. It's not like it'll get messy or complicated withfeelingsor anything.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [only fools rush in](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10813599) by [andromeda3116](https://archiveofourown.org/users/andromeda3116/pseuds/andromeda3116). 



> Inspired by a brief moment at the end of [only fools rush in](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10813599/chapters/23990646) in by [andromeda3116](https://archiveofourown.org/users/andromeda3116/pseuds/andromeda3116). I'm not going to give it away, but the way she wrote Jyn and Cassian interacting in this very specific moment just...I don't know. It just really inspired me, and it made me want to write something where, like in her fic, they're friends and Jyn asks Cassian for some help. Again, I don't want to spoil this amazing, amazing fic, and mine went a very different route, but I absolutely wanted to credit andromeda3116 with her awesome characterization. Thank you for giving me permission to write this!! <3

It’s that time again.

**No.**

Yes.

**No.**

Yes.

What’s love got to do got to do with it

What about looove don’t you want someone to care about yoooou

I want to know what love iiiiiiiiiiiis

I want you to show meeeeeee

**Jyn stop. You’re blowing up my text box.**

You’ve lost that loving feeling.

**Yeah I know. We both have.**

Baby baby I get down on my knees for yooooou

**Uh**

Wait I take that one back

I have good gossip btw. Speaking of this awful Hallmark holiday

**Oh good if there’s one thing missing from my day it’s good girl gossip.**

Because guys have such good gossip?

**Yeah, Kay found a new math documentary on Amazon Prime and he is PSYCHED.**

Is it Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land?

**No its something about the ten equations that changed the world. He’s going to be in his bedroom all weekend with the door shut, touching himself.**

Did you ever hear that “Donald duck getting a blow job” thing from the 90s?

**????!!!?**

It was gross.

**Jyn I’m at work. Stop bothering me with useless shit. I don’t even remember the point of this conversation or where it began.**

It’s almost Valentine’s Day, Cassian. Han and Leia will be together of course, Bodhi has a date, Baze and Chirrut are ignoring it like they always do, and even Luke and Mara are going out. You and I are dateless. Again

**This is news?**

We should go on a date with each other

**Um**

And have sex afterward

**UHHHHHHH**

Problem?

[…]

Where’d you go?

[…]

Dude this is not the way to deal with a suggestion like that. Avoidance is so passe.

Lol are you afraid of sex Cassian

It’s been like fifteen minutes since you replied so that’s the only conclusion I can come to.

Hahhahahahahhaahhahaha

Or maybe you need advice? Pointers? HAN COULD GIVE YOU SOME

**I KNOW HOW TO HAVE SEX JYN**

Oh good I was worried

**I’M AT WORK FFS**

**AND NO I DON’T NEED HAN FUCKING SOLO’S SEX ADVICE**

Han “fucking” solo lmao

**I’d rather read Penthouse or Playboy**

……..do u have a subscription to a girly mag

**I read it for the articles**

LMAO you do not have a subscription to a porn mag

**No but maybe I should get one**

RedTube or YouPorn man. Or Tumblr. Tumblr has great porn. All free!

**J. F. C. I. Am. AT. WORK.**

No one is making you talk to me.

Am I making you uncomfortable

**A little???**

Like can you not get up from your chair

**Kind of not??**

Bahahahaha

Okay but no seriously

How bout it

My proposition

**NO Jyn. I’m not going out on a date with you and I’m not having sex with you.**

*frowny cat emoji* why not? Am I not good enough for you?

**Because WE’RE FRIENDS and I forgot how to have sex anyway**

Been awhile for me too

No but like we never have dates on Valentine’s Day, and I’m tired of watching everybody around us swoon while we’re the losers hanging out watching Law & Order SVU reruns in protest and eating that heart-shaped Papa Murphy’s pizza

**Come on you can’t say that’s not romantic. And Papa Murphy’s is really good.**

We can set rules ahead of time

On our date

**So let me get this straight. You want to go out on a date with me, YOUR BEST FRIEND, with the expectation of having sex afterward, and during said date, lay out sexual expectations.**

Bingo.

Haha. “Lay out.”

Pick someplace nice btw.

Oh and one (1) orgasm. That is my biggest requirement.

**JYN.**

* * *

Jyn was not at all nervous to go out on her “date” with Cassian when Valentine’s Day rolled around three days later. He chose a decent steakhouse that wouldn’t be packed and didn’t need reservations, and Jyn chose an outfit that mixed sweet with spicy. Cassian had seen her in every single outfit she owned, so she’d gone out and gotten something new for the occasion. Including –

“Check out my new boobs,” she said, putting her hands under them. “Push-up bra!”

Cassian sighed as he held the car door for her. “Can we at least _pretend_ this is a real date?”

“I guess,” she said with a shrug as she dropped onto the seat. He shut the door and walked around to his side and got in. “So,” she said in a sultry voice, laying her hand on his knee as he buckled up. “I’m excited about eating some delicious beef tonight. Even more excited about _your_ hot beef.” She squeezed his knee and then started moving her hand up his thigh.

 _“Jyn!”_ he sputtered. “What…. Is this _really_ how you act on dates?!”

“Nah,” she said with another shrug, removing her hand. “I’m just giving you a hard time. I’ll go back to normal. Normal Jyn. Boring Jyn.”

“You’re not boring.” He pulled out of her apartment complex and into traffic. “Plus, if you’re boring, then I’m boring.”

“Ah, right. ‘Two sides of the same coin,’” she quoted Leia. “The ‘Jynnian.’”

“I prefer ‘Jassian.’”

“Just because more of your name is in it.”

“Possibly.” Cassian paused a moment. “So…I have a question.”

“Shoot,” Jyn said, watching the lights of the city flicker by outside the window.

“How is this not going to be weird?”

“We won’t make it weird,” she answered. “We don’t have feelings for each other. It’ll be fine. It’s all about perspective.”

“Ah.” Another pause, longer this time. Thoughtful. “What perfume are you wearing, by the way? It smells really nice.”

“Very Sexy by Victoria’s Secret.”

“Subtle.”

“I don’t mess around.” Jyn looked at her manicure, reflecting on her time with Leia the week before. “Leia made me go to the nail salon. Appalling, right? But she did give me good gossip, and I promise you’re going to like it. She thinks Luke is getting ready to pop the question to Mara.”

Cassian gaped. “No!”

“Right?!”

“Are they even having sex?”

“I don’t know, probably? Mara doesn’t strike me as the kind of girl who will put up with not getting her way, and I’d imagine she has an…appetite.”

Cassian looked amused by the comment. “She certainly is an interesting girl.”

“You want to talk about two people who _really_ didn’t like each other when they met….”

He laughed at that, and Jyn smiled, already enjoying the night so far. Any why wouldn’t she? They were best friends; they always had a good time together.

Once at the steakhouse, they were seated and ordered a bottle of wine. Thirsty, Jyn drank half her glass in one go, then flapped the menu open in front of her.

“I’m not wearing any underwear,” she said blandly.

Behind his own menu, Cassian replied, “Your you-know-what must be awfully cold.”

“I don’t even know if my you-know-what still works after all this time.”

“Mine definitely doesn’t.”

Jyn put her menu down. “How long’s it been for you, anyway?”

Cassian’s menu lowered. His eyes were on the ceiling as he thought. Jyn studied the sharp lines of his jaw, his cheekbones, thrown into relief by the candlelight at their table. “Uhh…eight or nine months? Give or take?”

“Mm.” Jyn looked back at her menu. “I want a big fat filet.”

“And how long has it been for you?” Cassian asked. “Was it that hookup from the bar back in July?”

“Ugh.” She covered her face with her hands as it flamed. “Don’t remind me.”

Cassian chortled. “It was months before you lived that one down.”

“I was so drunk,” Jyn said. “ _So_ drunk. I can’t believe you didn’t stop me. Didn’t even _try_.”

“Oh, no,” Cassian replied, holding his hands up in the air. “Far be it from me to stand between Jyn Erso and what she wants. You would’ve beat me up.”

“Indeed.” Jyn decided on her meal and closed the menu, then leaned forward on folded arms. “Speaking of which…tonight. We need to discuss.”

Cassian made a face and pulled her menu to his so he could stack them neatly together. “Do we really have to? If we’re going to do this…whatever this is supposed to be…can’t we just…let it happen?”

“I believe in being upfront with expectations. For example, I assume you want nothing kinky.”

Cassian raised an eyebrow. “Define _kinky_.”

“Uh,” Jyn said. _“Kinky.”_

“One person’s kink is another person’s normalcy.”

“Okay, let’s just say I’m assuming you want regular, conventional sex. Sound good?”

“Sounds awkward, but yes.”

“What about the events leading up to it?” Jyn asked, but didn’t say anything more as the waitress approached. They placed their order, and once they were alone again, she looked back at Cassian.

“You mean foreplay?” he asked.

“Yes. I know that’s an unheard-of concept to some men, but – ”

“Oh, come on, I’m not an asshole.”

“You get one stimulation option: manual or oral.”

“Exactly how much time did you put into thinking about this?!”

“A little,” Jyn answered. “What’s your choice?”

Cassian began to redden. “Um.”

“Look, you want a blow job or a hand job?”

He fumbled for his phone and pulled it out of his pocket. “What I want is to not talk about this,” he muttered, eyes glued to the device.

“Fine, hand job it is. I plan to use my mouth to eat tonight anyway. I’m fine with whatever you’re willing to offer in that department as well.”

Cassian locked his phone, sighed, and put it down on the table. “What do you like, Jyn?” he asked quietly, voice gentle despite how he’d just been a moment ago.

“What do I _like_?” Jyn repeated back. “A good time.”

“Yeah, everybody does, but…what do you _like_? Is there a place you really like to be touched? A type of kiss?”

Now, Jyn felt heat creeping up to her face. Why was he asking her this? That wasn’t what this was about. This was basically a _joke_ , wasn’t it?

“Do you like talking in the bedroom?” he continued. “Are you loud? Quiet?”

Jyn swallowed. She couldn’t answer. His eyes were on hers, and he wouldn’t look away. His voice mesmerized her in a way it never had before.

“Do you like being on top or bottom?” he said. “Eyes opened or closed?”

The waitress arrived with their salads, and the spell broke. Jyn looked down at her greens, glad to feel the blood draining away from her face.

That was _weird_.

In the (awkward) silence, Cassian got a ridiculous text message from Kay, and both he and Jyn laughed over it. Things between them returned to normal.

Jyn didn’t bring up their sex preferences again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian and Jyn return to Jyn's apartment for the second part of the date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mwahaha.
> 
> P.S.: This is one of my favorite smut scenes I've ever written! :D (And I think it's the longest, too!) I hope you enjoy it as well!

An hour later, they were driving back to Jyn’s apartment. It was unusually quiet, Jyn’s thoughts on the night ahead. She had a feeling Cassian was thinking the same thing. He parked and walked her up to her door, like he’d done a thousand times before, and once they were inside, she went straight to the fridge and got out the bottle of wine she’d had chilling since the morning. It was open in seconds, and she poured glasses for them both. Clinking hers to his, she said,

“To a successful Valentine’s Day.”

“To a successful Valentine’s Day,” he echoed, and he drank, watching her.

Jyn refused to back down, even as her pulse hammered. She lowered her glass, eyes still on his. “You can make your move.”

Cassian raised his eyebrows. “’Scuse me?”

“You can make your move. Go ahead and kiss me now. Now would be a good time.”

Cassian took her glass from her fingers and set both of them on the counter next to each other. “I am done playing by your rules,” he said as he grabbed her by the ass and pulled her to his body. “New rule: actually put some effort in, and pretend we’re both having a real Valentine’s Day instead of faking it.”

“Fine,” Jyn replied, shoving her hands into his back pockets and pressing him closer to her. “So show me your best.”

“Only if you do the same.”

Jyn smiled. “I give everything my all.”

“You _challenging_ me, Jyn Erso?”

“Oh, never,” she said with an innocent look. “I would never.”

“Mmhm. So, first off,” Cassian said, “I wouldn’t have waited to get into your apartment before kissing you. I would’ve kissed you outside when we said goodnight. I also never have sex on the first date.”

“Classy.”

“And if I really liked you, I’d do this.” He backed her against her refrigerator, so swiftly she involuntarily gasped. Then his voice was at her ear. “I’d have you against the door, and I’d be kissing you _really_ hard.”

“So kiss me, then,” Jyn said, and she did not like how her voice quavered, just the tiniest bit. His ear was now right by her mouth, and the desire came over her to nibble it. She bit her own lip instead.

“But your rules,” Cassian said. He straightened up, though he was still pressed against her. Pressed way too close. “I don’t know how you want to be kissed, or what you like. We didn’t discuss – ”

Jyn grabbed his shirt’s collar with both hands and yanked him down to her. “Fucking kiss me, Cassian Andor,” she growled, eyes half-closed.

His lips were already so close, and he barely moved to press them to hers. She moaned against his mouth – immediately felt embarrassed – and when he separated from her briefly, she said, “I’m sorry, it’s just been so long – ”

“No, I know,” he interrupted. “Me, too.”

Then his lips were on hers again, and one of her arms was around his neck while the other hand still fisted his collar. His hands moved up to her waist, dragging the fabric of her dress with them.

“Jyn,” he murmured. “Oh, Jyn. How do you taste this good?”

“You do, too,” she replied, and she couldn’t get enough of kissing him. He was so _good_ at it, his tongue expertly caressing hers. Then he broke from her mouth to kiss her neck, and his hand came up to catch her as her head fell back.

“Tell me where you like it,” he said. “Where you like to be kissed.”

“My…my throat,” she got out, and tapped where she wanted his lips. He sucked at the hollow of her throat, and she clung onto him as her head spun and arousal burst hot and heavy inside her. “You?” she asked.

“Oh, I’m just fine.”

He held her completely, one arm around her waist, the other around her shoulders, and she felt like she could just collapse.

“Cassian…wow,” she gasped. “I’m so turned on right now. Are you?”

“Yeah.” He moved from her throat to under her ear, and shifted his body over hers so that she could feel him hard against her leg. “Can’t you tell?”

“Time for the bedroom?”

“Definitely.”

They hurried into Jyn’s room, and as soon as they stopped Jyn turned back to him and began kissing him again, only breaking to pull his sweater off over his head. She quickly unbuttoned the shirt underneath, her hands shaking in anticipation. He had an undershirt on under that, and when she’d finally gotten down to his bare skin, she hesitated…still a little afraid to touch him. He was her best friend. It was still a little weird, even though she badly wanted him right now. She’d just never seen him in this context before (of course she hadn’t), so having him exposed to her this way was just so new…and a little nerve-wracking.

Cassian was much the same when he got her dress off. He just watched as she unhooked and removed her bra, and then he just stared at her breasts.

“It’s okay,” Jyn said with a smile. “You can touch them. I know you want to.”

He brought his hands up and did just that, and she licked her lips, relishing the feeling. Then she watched, transfixed, as he removed one hand and tentatively lowered his mouth to her nipple and sucked on it.

The sound she let out was embarrassing.

Cassian’s head came up, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You sound so pornographic.”

Jyn tried not to laugh. “Yeah? Just wait till I have my turn. _Then_ we’ll talk again about porn noises. Been awhile for you, too, you know.”

“I guess I have my answer now about whether you’re quiet or loud.”

“And you?”

He kissed her slowly and whispered, “Depends.”

“We both need to get laid more,” Jyn said.

“No kidding.”

“Of course…” Jyn said slowly, giving him another kiss, “…the _real_ question here is whether you like it or not.”

“The sounds you’re making?”

“Yes.”

Cassian kissed her back. “I love it.”

He resumed kissing her breasts again, and Jyn didn’t bother to keep her noises in check. Her hands roamed over his naked backside as he sucked, and she sighed out a breath.

When he lifted his head again, Jyn caught his gaze. Her eyes on his, she moved her hands to his belt and began to unbuckle him. He held very still, eyes locked on hers. Jyn’s hands went to his hips to push his pants down, and she sank to her knees, fingers hooked in the waistband of his underwear.

She made sure his eyes said it was okay before she took the next step.

He wasn’t yet fully hard, but he was close. Jyn took a moment to take in this part of him, a part that of course she’d never seen before, and she had to admit…she was impressed. She was pretty pleased with it, and she was looking forward to making use of it.

She looked up at him again, and she took him in her hand and pulled once down his length. His body twitched, and his breath caught.  
“Jyn,” he said quietly, “this is weird, right?”

“It is,” she said. “Do you want me to stop?”

But he shook his head.

“What do you want?”

Cassian let out a breath. Now that it was his turn, he was less confident. “Nothing I would ever ask of you.”

Still moving her hand on him, Jyn stood and raised herself onto her toes. “Tell me,” she said into his ear.

“No, it’s not…I can’t….”

“Do you want me to give you a blow job?”

Again he let out a breath, and he hardened further in her hand. She had her answer. “Jyn….” he said helplessly.

Jyn moved her lips to his and kissed him. Whispered, eyes still closed, lips nearly touching his, “Do you want me to give you a blow job, Cassian?”

“Yes, please,” he breathed back. _“Please.”_

Jyn kissed him once again, then lowered back onto her knees again. Hand around his base, she took him slowly into her mouth, and he hissed as she did so, fingers digging into her shoulders and hips bucking up. Jyn took as much of him as she could, wetting him with her tongue, and moved her hand and mouth back and forth on him in time. She was slow with it, and his tenseness began to melt away. His fingers drifted down her cheek, and she chanced a glance up at him. His eyes were closed, and she smiled around him, happy that he could relax enough to enjoy himself.

It had been a long time since Jyn had wanted to do this to someone. Even longer since she’d enjoyed it herself. The context was bizarre, but it was safe. Jyn and Cassian knew each other well, were closer than anyone else emotionally, so it wasn’t an issue to be close physically for just this night. It was simply doing something different with the relationship, that was all.

Jyn only went down on him for a few minutes, though, sensing he was a little too close to release given how long it had been since he’d been with anyone. Once she rose back up, though, he kissed her fiercely and backed her up to the bed. She fell back onto it with a startled laugh, and Cassian pushed her up so he could join her on it.

Then he kneeled between her legs. She had, indeed, not been wearing any underwear to dinner.

Jyn got comfortable on her pillow, smiling to herself, and closed her eyes. She was going to enjoy _this_.

His hand moved between her legs, and his fingers caressed up and down her. A moment later his mouth was on her, and _that_ she was not expecting. She cried his name out in surprise.

“What?!” he said, looking up in shock.

“You don’t have to…we said one or the other….”

Cassian kept his fingers moving outside her as he moved up to be beside her face. “Can I not go down on you?”

“Um….”

Speaking was difficult with his fingers sliding slowly around her, distracting her.

“Because I’d like to,” he continued, his breath stirring tendrils of hair around her face. “I’d really, _really_ like to.”

Jyn had been looking at the ceiling, but at his words, she turned her head to see his face, brow furrowed a little. “Do you…like it?”

Cassian quirked a smile. “I do, actually. I enjoy it a lot. It’s a huge turn-on for me.”

Jyn’s cheeks flushed, and she couldn’t help the smile that started to curve up her lips. His fingers continued to stroke up and down over her center. “And do you usually…you know.”

Cassian readjusted, sitting up and pulling her backward into his lap. “Do I usually what?” he murmured, brushing her hair aside and dropping a kiss to her shoulder. His fingers drifted back between her legs again.

“Get your partner there,” Jyn said. “Get her off.”

He let out a laugh through his nose. “As a matter of fact,” he said in a low voice, hand stilling and fingers pressing against her, “usually I do.” Jyn felt the tingling arousal inside her ramp up. It was quiet for a moment, and then he said, “You just got really wet. I can feel it on my fingers.”

And they weren’t even inside her. Now Jyn’s cheeks flushed deeper, and she pressed her lips together. Cassian kissed a light trail down her jaw as his finger gently pushed into her.

“So can I taste you?” he asked. “I bet you taste so good.”

Jyn’s knees clenched together, her excitement and anticipation (and nervousness, truthfully) building too high. All she could do was try to keep breathing.

“Unless you don’t want it?” he said.

Jyn didn’t realize her lips were slightly parted until she went to speak. “I….” she said, her voice trembling. Her chest hurt from the way her heart pounded in it.

“Has anyone ever done this for you? _Really_ done it?”

“Sorta? I mean, I thought so?”

Cassian’s finger curved up just the tiniest bit inside her. She hissed in a breath.

“Put yourself in my hands, Jyn,” he whispered.

The air felt so heavy, and if there was a world outside them at this moment, Jyn was not aware of it. “Tell me what you’re going to do,” she replied in a voice too high for the pride she was trying to keep, for the perspective and distance she was rapidly losing.

“I’m going to put another finger in you first,” Cassian said. “Like this.” He slid a second in, sinking it so easily into her that she again felt slight embarrassment. With any other lover she wouldn’t have felt that way, but this was just supposed to be this fun, not-awkward thing with her best friend. She was too quickly losing herself in it. Cassian let out a quiet breath and tipped his forehead to the back of her head. “Do you like this?”

“Yeah,” Jyn said. “It’s nice.”

“Then,” he continued, voice close and husky, “I’ll start licking you. I’ll use my tongue to taste every part of you.” His other hand gathered her hair at her neck and swept it across her shoulder. His shoulders pressed against hers. “Has anyone ever put their tongue in you?”

“No,” Jyn said, her heartrate picking up. She could barely stand the anticipation. It was _too much_.

“I’ll do that. Then I’ll finger you again and suck on your clit, and maybe I’ll rub it with my fingers, too. How does that sound?”

“God, yes,” Jyn said, closing her eyes and tilting her head back against him. “Please do that. Please do all of that.”

“Okay.” He kissed the back of her head, and then he said, “Has anyone ever made you come from going down on you?”

“No.”

“Well, I can, and I’m going to. I’m going to make you come.”

“Oh, God,” Jyn groaned, not even meaning to say the words aloud.

Cassian kissed her temple and moved away from her, settling between her legs once more. He gently opened her legs, and her senses were so alive that she didn’t even have to open her eyes to see him lowering himself to her.

He put his mouth back on her, and her hips rose up to meet him and Jyn’s mind was gone.

Because his mouth…was… _exquisite_.

“Oh, Jyn, you do,” he murmured. “You do taste so, so good.”

She had never stopped to think about how good he might be in bed or at kissing or at oral, but what she felt right now was something she could never have imagined. She’d never felt anything like it. He knew _exactly_ what he was doing and where to touch her, and it all drove her _crazy_ with desire and want and need and she was aching, aching, aching in the most horrible way, worse than she’d ever felt for anyone.

Which was patently _ridiculous_ because this was her best friend in the whole world, and they were just fucking around because they literally had no one else to be with on Valentine’s Day. It didn’t mean anything, and, yeah, sure, she’d expected to have some fun with Cassian, but did she expect pleasure that made her whole body burn up like a shooting star? Nope nope nope.

And she was _babbling_ , God, _someone stop her from babbling_ , a constant stream of, “Oh, God, Cassian, Cassian, oh my God, _Cassian_ ” and she was too far gone to even care about how dumb she sounded, and it seemed to only encourage him anyway as he expertly licked at her clit and sucked at it and slid his fingers easily in and out of her and pressed them up.

And Cassian…Cassian _groaned_ against her whenever he heard her enjoying herself. _He enjoyed it, too._ He enjoyed it as much as she did. He was so _into_ it. He loved it _so much_. That, too, was hotter than hell to her, and she could barely even stand it.

When she’d said during their text discussion that she required one orgasm, she’d meant when they were actually having sex. Something she could just sigh through and be happy with. Something that would sate her and leave her happy and satisfied. But _this…this_ , she was losing her freaking _mind_ over. Sure, guys had gotten her off with their fingers before, but none had spent enough time with their mouths to get her to the finish line, and Cassian was doing the most magnificent job of it. Somewhere in the back of her mind, self-consciousness was registering, because she was being so _loud_ , so _vocal_ , more than she’d ever been with anyone before, and he was seeing this part of her he’d never seen before (figuratively and literally. She’d also hoped they’d just plain fuck in the darkness and not really look at each other’s bodies). So she held on, forced the pleasure back, too worried about being unbridled around him, her best friend.

Jyn’s hands gripped the comforter. Her teeth gritted. Cassian looked up and saw her looking down at him. He shifted so that he was near her face, and he _kissed her_ , and why did he have to _kiss her_ , because all they were doing was fucking because they were alone – not having a real, emotional date or anything!

“Breathe,” he whispered. “Let yourself go. I’ll make it really good for you. Let me. Breathe.”

“I can’t,” she said. “I can’t come.”

“You will. You will. Relax. Trust me. Hold onto me if you have to. It’s okay.”

With that, Jyn relaxed, closing her eyes and letting her tension out with a breath. Cassian returned his mouth to her center, and his fingers pushed harder at her, one, two, three times, and he tongued delicately at her clit. Her hands flew to his head, gripping hard and holding him close to her, because she felt it, she felt the wave of pleasure _so close_ –

“I’m going to come,” she gasped.  
  
“Good,” he breathed, and her best friend’s breath on her was so warm, so warm, and the pressure and sucking were so good –

The wave of euphoria overtook her and she cried out, her back arching with the intensity of it and her hands threading tight through his hair.

Cassian kept his mouth on her through it as it went on and on, and her hands finally loosened on his head as she quieted, her fingers still threaded through his locks.

He was joining her near the head of the bed when she turned over to open the nightstand and get out a condom, still breathing hard, heart still pounding. She gave it to him and put her hand on her forehead.

Wow.

The packet ripped, and Cassian put it on the nightstand. He moved between Jyn’s legs again, bumped them further apart with his knee, and checked in with her again with a look.

She put her hand on his cheek, slid it to the back of his head and pulled him down for a kiss, and he slid into her in that moment.

They both groaned when he was all the way in. For a moment, they just rested there together like that, each adjusting to the other, enjoying that initial burst of pleasure. Having just come, it was extra intense for Jyn. Cassian was on his forearms, chest pressed against her, his forehead next to her head on the pillow.

Then he started to move.

Slow rolls of his hips, lifting him off her chest each time, and then he kissed her, slow and deep.

Jyn had told herself, when she’d propositioned him, that she was going to enjoy the experience, but not get too into it. She wasn’t looking to impress him with her mad bedroom skills, nor was she expecting him to impress her. After all, they weren’t dating and didn’t plan to, so there was no point, no need. But as he moved in and out of her, _so_ slowly, touching that ache inside her, her body took over for her. Her hands slid into his hair again, and it was so silky, so soft, so thick, and he smelled so good (he always did). His breathing was deep and even, and her body responded in kind.

“Tell me what you want,” Cassian whispered. “Anything. Faster? Slower?”

“Just like this,” Jyn whispered back, moving her lips to get closer to his again. “This is really good.”

“You’re beautiful,” he replied, and Jyn’s heart thudded with fear as she simultaneously tried to hold onto her senses, too: he was losing himself in it just as she’d already started to (she probably already had completely). They were supposed to maintain perspective.  
  
“Cassian, don’t…don’t make this….” She couldn’t talk. She could barely breathe. Forcing a deep breath into her lungs, the pleasure of their union almost too much for her to breathe through (almost making her _cry_ , what the fuck), she said, “We – ”

But he kissed her to stop her words. “Shh, shh,” he said when he pulled away, and he took her hand, kissed her palm, and moved harder and faster in her. Jyn drew a shaky breath and pressed the heel of her other palm to her eye, watching as he dropped little kisses to her hand, his eyes closed, his body moving rhythmically above her, and her eyes stung, and this was _stupid_ , and she should end it now and so what if they stopped being friends? No, no, that was dumb, too. She should just play along, fuck him senseless and make him come fast. She could do that. She had a boyfriend once who took for-fucking- _ever_ to come, and she’d always have to get him there. She could do that to Cassian, surely. He had been close when she’d been sucking him off, so surely he was close now, right?

Sucking him off. Fucking him. He’d eaten her out. He was fucking her. Right. That’s all they were doing. She hadn’t gone down on him. She wasn’t making love to him. He hadn’t gone down on her. He wasn’t making love to her. It was none of that. It was two friends who were horny as hell getting it on on a stupid Hallmark holiday. That was all it was.

 _All_ it was.

Cassian had not had sex in eight or nine months. _Why_ wasn’t he coming?

“Hurry it up,” Jyn hissed, not liking how she was feeling. Her eyes hurt.

“No,” he responded, and in one swift move he pulled her up with him, so quickly that she gasped. He thrust up _hard_ inside her, and she fell back onto her hand, her other arm catching herself around his neck. His fingers slid through her tresses and pulled her mouth to his, and she wanted to fight back, wanted to resist, but he felt so damn good, filling her just right (just _so_ right) that she couldn’t, and she finally gave up, she finally gave in, and he moved again and again and again, hard and fast and exquisitely. Jyn cried out and her lips broke from his involuntarily, her arms now clutching him around his neck as her face scrunched up with the pleasure, and he held her tight around her waist, his weight balanced on his hand on the bed now, and she thought she would die. His own sounds of pleasure mingled with hers and filled her ears, and she’d never heard a man get so into it, and sound like he was enjoying it so much.

She realized she was whimpering when he again soothed, _“Shhh.”_

Cassian lay back, his hands running over her hair, tracing the sides of her face. His eyes studied her, like he…like he’d never seen anything more beautiful.

Jyn burned under his gaze.

She’d never felt more naked, and she suddenly didn’t want to be. It was too much. _He_ was too much.  
  
“Cassian,” she said brokenly, her voice way, way too high. She was so aware of their position, of what they were doing, of him inside her and her wetness on her thighs and his.

“Kiss me,” he said, so she did, jerking her hips harder and harder against him because she couldn’t take it anymore and she needed it to _end_. Mouth open, eyes on hers, his breath ratcheted up at the same time she began to feel her own pleasure building. She sat up, squeezed tight around him as she rolled her hips on him, and she furiously rubbed herself until she quickly came with a cry and collapsed on him.

“Make me come, make me come, _please_ ,” Cassian begged in a tight whisper, desperate eyes on hers and words tumbling out fast. “ _Please, please._ I need to, but I want you to do it, I want you to do it.”

Biting her lip and digging her nails into his shoulder, her other hand clutching the back of his head, she moved on him until his eyes squeezed shut, sweat on his forehead and coursing down his temple as he intensely focused.

“Now, now,” Jyn gasped, her own voice taking on a tone of begging. “I want you to come inside me. I need you to. Now. I want to feel it.”

“I want to,” he whispered, gripping her hips. “God, I want to come inside you so bad.”

“Do it,” Jyn replied, the commanding tone in her voice one that she’d never used in the bedroom before. Her hips jerked hard against his, and he sucked in a breath. She leaned down to him, nipped at his shoulder, hips still jerking hard. His head twisted away from her, but the groan he let out told her he liked her roughness (again, something she’d _never_ done before). “Come on and do it,” she whispered in his ear. “Come really, really hard inside me.”

She studied his face – she couldn’t look away – and then, her mind totally jumbled from confusion and pleasure, she lifted herself off him, causing him to gasp at the loss, and she said, "Can I take the condom off you?"

"Yeah, yeah," he replied breathlessly.

She ripped it off him and sank down onto him again, eliciting another gasp from both of them at the bare skin-to-skin contact, and he was gone in a moment. His spasms radiated through her body and she kissed him hard through it, bruising his lips with hers as he sobbed into her mouth for a long, long time and they rocked together.

When he quieted, when it was only his heavy breathing she heard, she collapsed again to his chest, and she lay still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like every writer, comments always make make me happy, happy, happy, so of course, I'd love to know what you think! :) <3
> 
> P.S.: For anyone who was concerned, I always, ALWAYS headcanon that Jyn is on birth control.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn and Cassian have to deal with the aftermath of what happened the night before. Things are not as easy as they thought they would be…but they figure it out eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue next, where they go on a date for real. :) (Smut, maybe…?)

Jyn knew she should get up. She knew she should go to the bathroom, get rid of the condom, wipe herself up, yadda yadda yadda.

She knew she should definitely, _definitely_ get dressed and make her way to the couch to sleep. Separate herself from Cassian. Even though that hadn’t been the plan before. They’d shared beds before, but this time…this time she shouldn’t. Not after how their sex had gone. She should go. She should absolutely go.

But she didn’t.

Instead, she lay curled up by Cassian for a good long while as he dozed, her own mind hazy. Eventually, he gave her a kiss on top of her head, got up, and disappeared into the bathroom. When he came back, he handed her some tissues and she cleaned herself up and set them off to the side as Cassian got under the covers.

He…didn’t seem to be under the impression that he needed to go.

She didn’t know how she felt about that.

It wasn’t _okay_ , for one thing.

“Are you going to go to sleep?” Cassian asked after she got back from the bathroom and made no move to join him underneath the sheets.

Jyn started. “I, um…was going to get dressed and….” _Go to the couch and sleep there under a blanket pile of shame?_

“Stay,” Cassian said. He knew her too well. He knew she desperately wanted to run.

Jyn nodded. She would stay. But she’d be gone from the bed as soon as possible in the morning.

They needed to get back to their normal friendship as soon as possible.

Jyn watched him, lying on his side, faced away from her, and leaving to go sleep someplace else seemed…felt… _cruel_.

She lifted the corner of the comforter and sheets and slid in. The room was a bit chilly, so she moved closer to him.

“That was – ” She broke off. Tried again with a softer voice. It had been too loud before. “That was good.”

Cassian turned over to face her. He looked sleepy, but his eyes were intently focused on hers. His mouth had a hint of a smile upon it. “For me, too,” he said.

Jyn tried to smile. Couldn’t quite make it there. Forced it. Between her thighs, she could feel a bit of him still, the sticky wetness, a reminder of their lovemaking.

She swallowed as she looked into his warm eyes. Things would be easier in the morning. She was sure of it.

There was absolutely no other option.

 * * *

Jyn woke with her chest against Cassian’s back and her face next to his on his pillow. He seemed to still be asleep, so she got out of bed, went to her closet, and got dressed. When she stood to pull her underwear on, she felt wetness in the fabric and closed her eyes. Some distant part of her brain had hoped this had all been some alcohol-induced dream, but no, she had indeed had sex with her best friend, and it had all been her idea, and she had no one to blame but herself.

 _He went along with it,_ she thought as she pulled a sweatshirt on. _He could’ve said no._

She stepped into sweatpants and yanked them up over her hips, then walked out to her kitchen. She made no effort to be quiet, because Cassian needed to get up and get _out_.

Just as the coffee finished brewing, he stirred. Jyn had already drunk half a cup when he came out of the bedroom fully dressed. His hair was beautifully tousled with sleep. Jyn turned away from him to grab the coffee pot.

“I’m pretty busy today,” she said as she refilled her mug. “So….”

He didn’t respond for a moment. “I’ll get out of your hair, then.”

She stayed facing away from him, sipping at her coffee, her gaze on her countertop, as he got his shoes, socks, and all his winter gear on.

“You know,” he finally said into the awkward silence, “it’s not fair, what you’re doing.” Jyn didn’t move. Didn’t speak. “This was your idea.”

Jyn spun to face him. She wanted to look away when she saw the hurt in his eyes, but she wasn’t the type of person to back down. “You went along with it.”

“Did you not have a good time?” he fired back. “Isn’t that what you wanted?” Jyn pressed her lips together and didn’t reply. “Was it really that bad, Jyn? Am I such an awful lay?”  
  
“Your words, not mine.”

He nodded, and then he asked, because he just _had_ to ask, and his voice was steadier than it should have been: “Do you regret it?”

Jyn didn’t answer. Cassian smiled coldly, nodded again, and looked away.

“All right,” he said, and ran his hand through his hair. “I guess I’ll, um, see you later. Just text me. Or not.” He looked up at her again. “Just not.” He opened the door.

“Cassian, wait – ” she said, starting forward, but he’d already left, slamming the door after him.

* * *

“You _say what now_?” Leia asked over coffee that afternoon.

“It was just supposed to be fun, right?” Jyn said. “It wasn’t supposed to be complicated.”

Leia arched a perfect dark brow. “You think you can just have sex with someone you know and have it not get complicated?”

“You had sex with Han for six months before saying you even wanted to _consider_ having a relationship with him,” Jyn pointed out.

“But it’s Han,” Leia said. Which was fair.

“I’ve had sex for fun,” Jyn said. “I’ve brought guys home from bars. Cassian has, too.”

“Cassian brings guys home from bars?”

Jyn scowled. “Come on, Leia. You’re not helping.”

Leia chuckled. “I’m sorry. It’s just, this is so ridiculous. You guys _obviously_ like each other. Why not give it a go?”

“We _did_ ‘give it a go,’ and look how it turned out.”

“ _No_ , give _it_ a go, as in a relationship.”

Jyn knew what she’d meant. She’d just hoped Leia _hadn’t_ meant it. “I don’t know,” she said quietly, unable to meet her friend’s eyes. “Cassian is…Cassian. He’s been my best friend for years. We’ve never been that way about each other.”

“And yet…you decided to proposition him for sex and a date. On Valentine’s Day.”

“Because I was lonely!” Jyn sputtered. “I wanted to spend the night with someone!”

“‘It’s a stupid motherhumping Hallmark holiday for stupid dumbshit Americans who just want to blow a load of money and contribute to American consumerism!’” Leia quoted back at her. “That’s what you say every year!”

“Yeah, well, maybe I wanted it to mean something this year,” Jyn muttered, stuffing her hands in her coat pockets.

“And did it? Mean something?”

Jyn kicked her feet at the floor. “No.”

“It didn’t? Not even a little bit?”

“No. I said no.”

“It sounds like it meant something to Cassian.”

Jyn looked up. “Yeah. That’s the fucking problem. He acted so _weird_ about it, and in the middle of it, he was…he was really romantic, and good, and sweet, and…he was really into it. I didn’t think he would be. I mean, he’s a guy, right? He’s supposed to just enjoy getting laid?”

“You didn’t think Cassian would be a good lover? You thought he would just be a selfish prick?”

“No, no, I always assumed he would be caring…I mean, I didn’t really _think_ about it that much – ”

“Except you did.”

“ – but I wasn’t surprised he was attentive. It just…was…different,” Jyn finished, casting her gaze down again. “I’ve never had sex like that before, Leia. I’ve never…um…let a guy finish without a condom.”

“Whoa. I don’t even let Han, and he throws a fit about it each time. ‘You’re on the pill!’ and all that.”

“So am I, but I don’t want the mess or worrying about STIs or the intimacy or anything like that. I mean, I know you can still get STIs with condoms, but…. Anyway,” she waved it off, “my point is, I got carried away, and it was really stupid.”

Out of her peripheral vision, Leia shrugged. “Maybe it wasn’t. Obviously you did that for a reason.”

“Yeah. He’d given me a mind-blowing orgasm – two, actually – and I was feeling all sex-crazed.”

“You are _really_ awesome at making excuses, Jyn Erso.”

Jyn slumped forward over her coffee cup. “I can’t do this, Leia.”

“Do what?”

“Whatever this is. I’d just rather let him go. Because that’s…that’s what going to happen here.”

“So don’t let it,” Leia said. “Why let go of a good thing?”

“Because it’s _not_ ,” Jyn said. “It’s _nothing_.”

“I’m not talking to you about this anymore.” Leia got up from the table and started to walk away. Shocked, Jyn jumped up.

 _“Seriously?!”_ she said, catching up to her friend. Leia looked at her sideways.

“Yeah,” she said. “Talk to Cassian. Get your shit sorted out. Until you do, I’m not speaking to you.”

“What if he doesn’t want a relationship? What if I don’t?”

“I’m not speaking to you, remember?”

_“Leia!”_

Leia turned to her. “I don’t care how it turns out,” she said. “But I want you to talk to him.”

Jyn sighed and stood in the cold air outside while Leia left her behind and walked to her car. It had been two days since Valentine’s Day, and Jyn and Cassian hadn’t spoken since. She missed him something awful, because she was used to talking to him every day, all day.

She pulled out her phone.

Okay, she typed. Enough’s enough. Let’s talk.

He didn’t respond until a couple hours later, when she was a big ball of anxiety.

**Okay.**

* * *

Ideally, Jyn wanted to meet somewhere neutral – a restaurant or something – but due to the nature of the discussion, they both thought it best to meet at one of their apartments. Cassian’s, they decided, given that her apartment was a little too…something.

She hung her coat and scarf up on a hook and turned to see him drop down onto his sofa. Her heart clenched.

“So?” he said. “You wanted to talk?”

This already wasn’t getting off on the right foot.

“Yeah, um,” she said, staying by the door. _A quick exit._ “I’m sorry. About what happened.”

“Me, too. I regret it, too.”

The punch in the gut she felt at his words must have been the same one he had felt at her lack of response when he’d asked her if she regretted it.

“It was good,” she tried, taking a hesitant step toward him. “Really, really good. You’re…um…you’re really good.”

He looked away. “Thanks,” he said dully. _Nice to know you approve_ , were the unspoken words. “That’s really what I want to hear right now. That I fuck great.”

Time to get off this topic. “It was a stupid idea, you’re right,” Jyn continued. “I should never have suggested it. I just want things to go back to normal between us.”

His head whipped back to her, fire in his usually warm brown eyes. “How can they, Jyn? What did you _think_ was going to happen?”

“What did you?” she retorted.

“Yeah, I guess I thought the same as you,” he conceded. “I thought, ‘Sure, why not? This’ll be a fun time with my best friend. We’ll go out, have some good food, fuck, and that’ll be the end of it.’ But you know, it doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes things get messy. It was a really stupid idea. We never should’ve agreed to it.”

“You’re absolutely right,” Jyn said, desperately hoping to placate him. She so badly wanted her best friend back! “Can we just…maybe…pretend it never happened? I mean, I’m sure we’ll get over it, you know? Like we were supposed to? If we just…put it behind us? I guess it was always going to be weird, one way or another.”

Cassian shook his head. He still looked angry. “You can’t just fuck someone you know and care about and expect them to just get over it right away.”

“Then why did you do it?”

“Because I thought I could. Get over it right away. Turns out I can’t.”

Jyn took a deep breath in through her nose. She wished she could just melt onto the ground like the snow on her boots.

“You should never have fucked me, Jyn,” he added.

“Would you please stop saying that?” she said. “I didn’t _fuck_ you, Cassian.”

“No?” He finally looked back at her, brows raised. “Then what would you call it? _Making love?_ You think we _made love_?”

“No – ”

“We fucked, plain and simple. Because that’s all this was about, right? Getting off.”

Jyn’s fists clenched into tight balls as her eyes began to prickle. “Sure,” she said. “If that’s all it was to you.”

“Seems pretty clear that that’s all it was to _you_.”

“I didn’t say that, but thanks for putting words in my mouth.”

“I can’t do this.” Cassian stood and started to walk out of the room. “Just go, please.”

The prickling in her eyes worsened. “So that’s it? We’re over?”

Cassian turned partway to look back at her. “We never even began.”

Jyn took a step toward him and said, before she could stop herself, because she couldn’t bear the thought of losing him, and she had to know, “Did you want us to?”

He let out a breath. “What do _you_ think?”

Jyn carefully approached him. “Cassian,” she said gently once she was close enough – but not too close, “I lost myself in it, too. I’m sorry I hurt you. That’s the last thing I would ever want.”

He turned fully to face her. Now he looked more hurt than angry. “I don’t know what else there is to say,” he said. “We screwed up big time here, and we can’t go back to the way things used to be. I’m sorry, too, but that’s the way it is. I’ll miss you – a lot – but…I don’t see any other options here.”

“Don’t you?” she asked in a voice so meek, she hated herself for it.

Cassian eyed her. “Jyn,” he said sharply. “Don’t fuck with me.”

She slowly shook her head, afraid of scaring him off. “I’m not,” she said, taking his hands. He didn’t reciprocate and hold her hands back, but nor did he pull his away. “You’re right. We did screw up. Badly. It’s my fault for starting this in the first place, but we’re both equally responsible for going through with it. We can’t go back to the way things were, with just being friends, so what if we try going forward as more than friends?”

His lips parted as he drew in breath. “You’d want that?”

A small smile made its way across Jyn’s face. “I thought I was just trying to have fun by propositioning you, but…I never would’ve asked if there wasn’t something more there. I just don’t know…how to do this. I’m bad at this.”

His fingers finally closed around hers. “You’re not. It’s just…weird. Because we’re friends. I want this, too, though. I have for a long time. We’ll just…have to take it slow – if that’s okay?”

“Yeah,” Jyn agreed. “I think slow would be good.”

Finally, Cassian leaned forward to embrace her, and she wrapped her arms around him and held him close to her. She closed her eyes and breathed out.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Jyn,” he murmured, and she smiled.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Cassian.”


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn and Cassian try to be a couple. It'll take time, but they'll get there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who was offended by Jyn taking the condom off of Cassian in Chapter 2 without asking him about it first, I apologize. I have added a bit of additional dialogue during that moment to correct it. FWIW, I tend to use condoms as metaphors in my fic, so that moment was supposed to function on a couple different levels. First, as Jyn literally removing the final barrier between her and Cassian as she gets so lost in this moment with him that she falls completely for him, and second, on a more carnal level, that she's just gotten so physically carried away with the moment that she wants to be as close to him as she possibly can. There wasn't supposed to be anything about it that would make readers uncomfortable. I have the utmost respect for this ship and love it dearly, and the last thing I would ever want to do to it is hurt it.
> 
> Anyway, I have clawed my way to my computer whilst wishing for death after being stuck in bed for two days with norovirus. The show must go on. Hope you guys enjoy the epilogue! Thank you so, SO much for reading!! <3

This time when Cassian picked Jyn up for a date, she wasn’t trying so hard. She wore a simple gray sweater in a flattering but conservative cut, and a black pencil skirt that ended past her knees. Her knee-high boots had heels but were classy, and she’d worn tights to keep the cold away from her legs.

“Hungry?” Cassian asked.

“Yeah,” Jyn said on an awkward breath, turning the key in the deadbolt of her apartment door. “I haven’t been to this place yet. Excited to try it.”

He put his hand on her lower back as they walked down the stairs to the ground level. Neither of them spoke, though Jyn thanked him when he opened the door for her.

It had been three days since they’d discussed trying to have a relationship. They hadn’t seen each other in that time, though they’d talked via text as usual. When Cassian had brought up the idea of a real date, Jyn’s heart had sped up unpleasantly. She couldn’t find a way to avoid it – and they were supposed to be a real couple anyway – so she had agreed.

Truth be told, he seemed as nervous about it as she did.

“I saw Luke yesterday,” Cassian said into the silence.

“Oh?” Jyn watched the city slip by in the falling darkness of early evening.

“Yeah. It was a rumor. He had no plans to propose to Mara.”

“I figured as much. We would’ve heard something anyway.”

“Yeah.” He laughed, a horrible, forced sound. Then he cleared his throat, and he didn’t speak again.

They were able to be more at ease during their meal, relaxing enough to chat about work and other idle gossip from their friends. Maybe it was just easier when they were around other people, rather than it being just the two of them.

Once they left, though, the awkwardness returned, and Jyn fought the rude urge to pull out her phone and check her messages. Usually, she only had that urge around other people, because she couldn’t wait to see what her best friend had replied with, but she was _with_ her best friend, and usually she didn’t care about her phone then. But this was just… _so_ uncomfortable.

At her door, Jyn turned to face Cassian. He had his hands in his coat pockets and his eyes on the ground.

“This was, um….” he started, but trailed off.

Jyn winced, clutching the handles of her handbag. “Weird,” she supplied.

Cassian nodded. “Weird, yeah. I’ve been trying to figure out all night how to make this work, but…it’s just….” He looked up at her, brown eyes sad on hers.

Jyn bit her lip, and she thought. She felt the same way – in her head – but her heart wasn’t about to let go so easily. Not _nearly_ so easily.

“Come inside,” she said, turning quickly to stick her key into the lock and open the door. She strode through and began shedding her winter gear, then carefully balanced to remove her boots. Without looking back at Cassian, she moved into the kitchen. He didn’t have to follow, but by not looking at him, she wanted it to be his choice if he did or not.

The door shut. Cassian’s shoes fell to the ground, and his clothes rustled as he removed his outerwear.

“Feel like a hot toddy?” she asked, filling up her hotpot with water.

“That sounds good,” he said. Jyn busied herself preparing the drinks and steeping the tea when the water was ready, while Cassian idly washed the dirty dishes in her sink, as if he couldn’t help himself from cleaning up. Once the drinks were ready, Jyn clinked her glass to his, and they both took a few sips in silence.

Then, abruptly, Cassian plunked his cup on the counter. “Kiss me, Jyn.” She raised her eyebrows, struck speechless. “Please, just….”

“Okay, okay,” she said gently, setting her cup down as well. She stepped up to him and slid her hands back along his jaw, bringing her lips to his. He wrapped his fingers around her wrists as a breath shuddered out of him.

“I want this to work,” he confessed. “And it’s not. It’s really not. It’s so bad – ”

Jyn threw her arms around his neck and kissed him again, so hard he stumbled back against the counter. She rubbed herself up against him, and she kept her hips tight to his as she lifted up onto her toes to whisper in his ear.

“Let me tell you how well it works,” she said, her fingers running through his hair. “I’ve never had sex like that before. I’ve never had a man make me moan, make me groan, make me cry out for him because what I am feeling is so fucking good it doesn’t even have words.” Again she rubbed herself against him, and he moaned a little himself in the back of his throat, already beginning to grow hard against her. Jyn ran her palms up his chest and over his shoulders. “I’ve never had someone go down on me like that, and what’s more, you _liked_ it, you _really_ fucking liked it. You totally got off on it, I could tell.”

Cassian’s hands, at her back, bunched up her sweater and clutched it tight. His forehead leaned against hers, and his breathing had become heavy. “What else?”

Jyn threaded her fingers into his hair again and brought his lips to hers. She gave him a soft kiss, then said, “I’ve never let anyone come inside me without a condom before.”

He released a groan and sagged back against the countertop, his legs opening around her so that she could fall completely against his lap. Jyn wasn’t surprised to feel him rock-hard against her.

“It was so good,” he whispered. “So good, Jyn. You were so, so good.”

Cassian’s fingers found the zipper at the back of her skirt and yanked it down. In seconds she was stepping out of her skirt and his hand was plunging down her lacy underwear. He sighed out a breath and kissed her when two of his fingers slipped up inside her.

“You’re so tight and wet,” he said. “You’re the best thing I’ve ever felt.”

His fingers withdrew from her, and his hand settled under her sweater on her naked waist, the warm wetness touching her skin. Jyn gave Cassian a slow, deep kiss back as she reached down, pressed her fingers into herself, and then pulled them out of her underwear. She leaned back from him a little, tilted her forehead to his, and touched her fingers to his lips. He immediately took her fingers into his mouth, a noise coming from the back of his throat as he sucked.

When he’d licked her clean, he wrapped one arm around her shoulders and the other around her waist and kissed her hard, then hauled her up onto her flat stove. He shoved her sweater up, hands groping at her breasts while he kissed her stomach, and then his lips traveled down. His tongue ran over her wet underwear, and Jyn groaned. She raked one hand up his back and gripped his shoulder as her head fell back, dying to have his lips on her.

Cassian moved back up to her lips and kissed her, his hands working at his belt and fly. His pants dropped, and he hooked his fingers in Jyn’s underwear to pull it down. Then he pulled her closer to the edge of the stove and guided himself up into her.

“Sorry,” he murmured. “I couldn’t wait.”

They only moved like that for a few moments before he hoisted her off the stove and they moved the short distance out of the kitchen to the living room, Cassian laying Jyn down on the carpet and settling over her.

“Mm,” Jyn said. “Been a long time since I’ve been fucked on a floor.”

“I do not have the patience to make it to a piece of furniture right now,” Cassian replied, kissing her neck. “Although….” He pulled out of her, pushed her sweater up, and kissed down her stomach until he was between her legs. Jyn groaned and brought her knees up as his mouth found her. When he used his fingers to open her entrance up further for him, and licked inside her, she had to muffle her sounds against the back of her wrist, and her toes curled. Blood rushed down to her center, and she already felt the tinglings of orgasm close by. His tongue swiped up to her clit, and her toes curled again into the carpet, so hard they hurt.

“Close?” Cassian asked. One finger entered her, and his other hand was splayed on the side of her ass. Jyn just made a noise and sank her teeth into her wrist, eyes wide as they stared at the ceiling. “Going to come for me again?” She repeated the noise and tried to breathe.

He added a second finger, then pulled both out and circled them around her clit, slow and steady.

“How do you want me to finish you off?” he said. “With my fingers or my mouth?”

“I don’t care,” she gasped. “Just…get me there. Please.”

“Both, then. Let me see if I can find your g-spot.”

“Oh, my god, no, no….

But his fingers were back in her, searching for that delicate pleasure point, and Jyn’s body came off the ground when he hit it. Her hands flew to her face, and her body flushed all over. She looked down at Cassian and breathed his name, and he lowered his mouth to her again. All it took were a few swipes of his fingers inside her and sucks on her clit and her body exploded, the orgasm taking her from both inside and out, white lighting up her vision and a scream tearing from her throat. Her muscles clenched harder than they ever had, and her fingers dug into the carpet. She had almost come down when Cassian crawled up over her, kissed her lips, and slowly entered her. Her body was so electrified that she gasped again, and he chuckled, brushing hot hair away from her face. He smiled at her as he moved slowly, gentle thrusts of his hips, and Jyn felt another orgasm begin to build again. She stayed very still, and it was amazing to her that he was able to read her, because even though she didn’t have her eyes on him, she could sense him watching her, his pace quickening just slightly, his pressure just firm enough to push her up and up and up. Then her eyes squeezed shut and her brow furrowed, her hands gripping his shoulders. With other partners she’d have to say, “Keep doing that,” but with him, with Cassian, she didn’t have to say it. He just _knew_.

Her orgasm came on strong but soft, and she sighed through it, Cassian kissing her jaw and her neck, his pace never changing through it, drawing it out perfectly for her.

And as he kissed her lips again, as he changed his pace to something faster and she sensed that he was bringing himself to orgasm, she realized belatedly that…they hadn’t gone for a condom. And that she didn’t even care. Even with always being on the pill, she’d never, ever let anyone get that close to her. She _wanted_  that closeness with Cassian, to not have a barrier between them when they made love. It felt so much better to have his skin against hers, to not feel latex, thin as it was.

She loved the feeling.

Cassian’s kisses became more unsteady, his breaths turning to pants, and Jyn ran her hand through his hair and down the side of his face. He kissed her as he came and she felt it, his body pressed so close to hers, and he thrust slow and deep in her once, twice more, and was still. He continued to breathe hard, forehead against hers, breath fanning her face. Eventually, they readjusted so they were on their sides next to one another, Jyn cradled in Cassian’s arms.

It had gotten less weird, Jyn reflected. Probably it would still feel a little weird as they continued to get used to this, but, she thought with a smile that Cassian couldn’t see, she was pretty confident they could work through it, and that it didn’t even matter, because somehow, someway, she could tell they would never, ever be separated.

 _It’s always been us,_ she thought as she snuggled closer to him, and his arms tightened around her. _Just us. Just Jyn and Cassian. It always will be. All the way._

And that, she thought, was the most perfect Valentine’s Day gift a girl could ever ask for.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [tumblr](https://thestarbirdfromtheashes.tumblr.com)!


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